Winning Back The Ex: Don't Do This!

Here are some things you DON'T want to do, if you want to get her back.

1. DON'T MAKE THE 50+ phone calls that your emotions are urging you to do. (And that means no texting, emails, etc.)

First of all, you look desperate and that is not attractive to a woman who wants a man who will make her feel secure. That probably sounds odd, since she is probably the one who left you, if you're reading this article.

I know...this is tough: I'm asking you to make her feel secure when the rug has just been pulled out from under you. I'm telling you this because I want you to get her back. And this is just the reality.

But this is very important: she is most likely going to be insecure about her decision for a while. This is the period when she is going to be most open to changing her mind.....that is, if you play your cards right.

If it's too soon after the break up: chasing after her with phone calls, text messages and emails will not be productive...even if she does talk to you. Do you want her talking to you out of guilt? Because she feels sorry for you? Or a few weeks from now when she misses you?

The whole idea for winning your ex girl back, is to pave the way.....so it's easier for her to come back to you. Trying to "convince" or "persuade" her to come back usually backfires, even if it looks like it's working at first.

She needs to choose freely to come back. But there are actions that you take that can push her farther away or draw her closer to you.

Most women don't leave until they have given up on being loved and appreciated by their guy. If she sees little glimmers of hope here and there, she will see possibilities for that love and appreciation. Almost no one wants their relationship to have to end; it ends because they see no hope: they've given up.

AND

2. FORGET THE FAMOUS DRIVE-BY. That's where you drive by her house to see if she's there. So the question is.....is it better if she is home or if she is not home? If you've already done it, don't worry...just don't do it anymore.

You might feel a little better that she is home, but if she is home...why doesn't she pick up the phone? (Wait a minute-you're not supposed to be calling) If her car is not there, then you will start imagining where she might be. If the goal of the drive-by is to make you feel better - does it seem like it works?

And the worst news would be that she sees you 'checking up on her.'

The bottom line is that you're not going to get your ex back through persuasion, guilt or control. The best way to net a girl back is to give her the space to come toward you again.

Gloria Waite is a an expert on love relationships, who gives no-nonsense love advice to men at winning back the ex. People, who know Gloria, credit her success to 25+ years of experience as psychologist and her natural gift for 'getting it' right away and coming up with practical advice and solutions.

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